Tin Ear for the Music of the Soul

Kenya. September 1983.  I see that I am competing for spirituality, not so much as if running a race with others, but in the sinister way everything becomes a competition with me, that is, not the desire for the degradation of others, but the instinctive pitting of myself against others.  Of Enlightenment, a form of self-realization, I think, okay, I think I’ve got It, but then I think I must suspend It until I learn how to function in the real world with It, which is to say I haven’t a clue what to do with It, which is to say I haven’t got It at all.

Sometimes I think I must have a tin ear for the music of the soul and I wonder if I am destined to be curious about God.

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